Being Your Mom

I woke up tonight from your constant stirring. It's been hot the past 2 days so I awoke feeling unbearably hot. I thought that you might be feeling the same way so I quickly took off your socks - which you dislike wearing when you sleep and your poofy blanket pants. Then I went and laid by your feet so that I'd remember to put on a lighter pair of sweats and to change your diapee because you've been peeing out of your diapers consistently for the past few months. Luckily the poofy blanket pants usually absorbs most of the leakage but without those tonight you definitely need a diaper change before dawn. Sensing that I was by your feet you kept kicking me in the face. After a dozen or so kicks I got up to check if your dad was still awake. It's around 2AM and he's better at wrapping you in your diapers to minimize leaks. He's not, so I'm on my own. In an attempt to wrap you up tightly I constantly check and adjust the diaper which of course wakes you up. I put on your sweats and lay next to you. You look up at me with your big angelic eyes and I couldn't resist but give you a kiss on your green Soothie pacifier. You smile at me behind your paci. I tell you "Swai jao" (Go to sleep). Your paci pops out and being thirsty myself I sit you up and offer you your water. You take two long aggressive sucks of water and I pop your paci back in. There goes the diaper change. You're having a hard time falling back to sleep tonight. You crawl on top of me and lay in the cradle of my arm, you lay on my side using my tummy as your recliner, you lay perpendicular to me on top of your pillow with your head next to mine, you lay in front of me and grasp my cheek and play with my nose. I pretend to sleep in hopes that you'll fall asleep quickly. But of course I can't sleep. I can never sleep when you're still awake. Finally, over and hour later I pull you close to me. With you cradled in my arm I tell you that it's time to sleep. You lay a bit then you started to kick your leg up and down. I tell you to stop moving. You start up again so I tap your leg. You snuggle up next to me with your forehead on my cheek and your hair tickling my eyes. Your left leg on top of mine. Your breathing deepens and in a few minutes you're asleep. You paci falls on my chest and I savor the moment. I love Being Your Mom.